You can say, "I'm Mad!"

You can say, "I'm mad."

It took me by surprise the first time I heard the therapist say these words to my son. He was having a tantrum and couldn't quite express how he felt any other way. Those two simple words could help keep him from banging his head on the floor out of frustration. Why hadn't I thought of saying this to him before?

Those two words, simple yet profound, are not something a parent typically wants to teach their child. And I laughed a little inside when we all cheered, "Good job!" the first time he replaced his tantrum with "I'm mad!" We were so excited when his Sunday school teacher told us how he had said those words to her. Weird, I know, but sooooo much better to hear "I'm mad" than to watch your child violently throw around his body and scream at the top of his lungs.

Sometimes Sam doesn't understand why he doesn't get his way. For example, he might earn the right to play with a toy for 20 minutes for successfully going to the potty. When that 20 minutes is up, I can see the frustration on his face as I'm sure he wonders, "Mom, why can't I have it a little longer? I wasn't done with it yet." He doesn't understand, but I have a plan. And I think he trusts me. I know he loves me. And I am pretty sure he knows that I love him.

There have been several times lately, today included, when I haven't been able to find the words to say, but I have been angry, frustrated or hurt over a situation. Loved ones are hurting. Our country is divided over moral issues. Friends have lost family members unexpectedly. Sometimes I want to look up at heaven and scream or bang my head on the nearest wall. Life can hurt so much that mere words seem impossible.

I wonder if God would rather hear me say "I'm mad!" to Him. I once heard a friend tell me that it was a sin to be mad at God. But I respectfully don't agree. He knows how I feel. He can look at my face and even inside my heart and know before I say the words. And if I'm going to have a real relationship with Him, the reality is that I will be mad at times. Just like I've been mad at everyone I have ever been close to. It's acting out of that anger that would be a sin.

I  can be mad at God. You can be mad at God. It's what we do with that anger that counts. We have the choice to acknowledge it and ask Him for help, or to deny how we feel and allow our anger to build inside. We can trust Him while not understanding His ways, or we can turn our backs on Him and rebel. I don't know about you, but I know that He loves me.  I think I'll trust Him in the midst of frustration.

Are you hurting? Frustrated? Somewhere in the grieving process? You can say "I'm mad!" Then consider trusting the One who sees your life beyond this point. I bet there is a purpose in it all.

Your higher ways teach me to trust You.
Your higher ways are not like mine. 
Your higher ways are the ways of the Father 
Hiding His children in His love.

Someday I will fly and maybe then You will take me aside and show me the bigger picture. 
But until I'm with You, I'll be here with a heart that is true and a soul that's resting on Your higher ways.

(Excerpt from the song "Higher Ways" by Steven Curtis Chapman)